He Owns My Heart

“We meet wonderful people, but lose them
in our busyness.
We’re, as the saying goes, all over the place.
Steadfastness, it seems,
is more about dogs than about us.
One of the reasons we love them so much.”
― Mary Oliver

The last image I took of our sweet snowbather before things went downhill fast.

I haven’t kept up with my updates well, since I have been healing oh so slowly. I have moved into the skin peeling phase of radiation burns and my energy level is still so low.
And I’ve had a very ill companion.

For whatever reason, Mojo has dealt with troublesome sebaceous cysts on and off for the past few years. He is riddled with them, along with a handful of fatty tumors and skin tags. Some breeds are more prone to them than others, and while I am still unsure of his lineage, it is definitely one that is prone to that condition. He’s had several removed in the past and recently has developed a few that grew very quickly. While the cysts are thankfully benign, they come with a host of problems and are often difficult to treat depending on where they are. There is no known cause nor cure for them. Just surgical removal, otherwise they burst and drain, then fill up with fluid again. It’s a vicious circle.

We took him to our regular vet this past Wednesday for a vaccine booster and one of the larger cysts (softball size) that had grown on his back was drained. I had put that visit off longer than I normally would, due to my radiation treatments. It didn’t seem to bother him, but it needed to be addressed.
Fast forward to Saturday. He was feeling fine and we spent some time playing in the deep snow around the house. Within a few hours, he started moaning and moving about the bed trying to get comfortable. It was obvious that he was in pain. He wouldn’t eat and quickly became lethargic and was panting.. He couldn’t jump up onto the bed, something he probably does at least a dozen times a day. I knew my boy was hurting and each hour that passed, the pain was getting worse.
Our regular vet was not on call that day, so I called multiple vet practices within 4 neighboring counties. I received the same voice mail message from all of them: “If this is an emergency, take your pet to Great lakes Pet Emergencies. Saginaw is a 1.5 hour drive south, but it soon became evident that that was our only option.

Long story short, it was a horrific night spent at a for-profit clinic that places that profit far above actual care. They did xrays and minimal blood tests yet had no idea what was going on with Mojo. They said his gait was normal, while he weaved and stumbled. They wanted to send me home with narcotic medicine for pain, but he has never taken narcotics, and since he was already lethargic, I didn’t feel it was a smart option. The vet on staff was rude and curt and suggested that he may have gotten into marijuana. I found that almost laughable, as Mojo is not a trash dog and I have had those types of dogs in the past. So after dropping $800 on totally useless tests, we left with a very sick Mojo.
He panted and moaned all night long. I held him and talked to him softly as he shook in fear and pain. I had flashbacks of another night from the past, a long painful weekend night, when I lost my beloved rottie to pancreatitis. It was another night when I could not find any available vets to help us help her. I knew on a gut level that if I did not get Mojo help soon, that I would loose him. Then his cyst burst, covering the bed with a horrible smelling fluid and I knew exactly what was going on.

As soon as our regular vet started receiving emergency calls, I placed a call to his cell phone. He asked me to get him down to his clinic asap. By then, Mojo was having a difficult time getting around and I was far past sleep deprived and sick with worry. He shaved the area over the cyst and could tell that it had become full of infection and was septic at that point. He needed to get on iv antibiotics right away and needed pain meds stat. Our boy was very very sick, and he confirmed what I already knew. He was in trouble.

He is still at the clinic, receiving meds and being monitored. The infection needs to be controlled before surgery can be done, but it is a watch and wait scenario. If the opening in the cyst becomes larger, he will have to have surgery right away, or risk the possibility of the infection spreading even further into his body and muscles. Again, this type of cyst is very difficult to treat.

While waiting inside, one of the resident clinic cats walked into the treatment room. Mojo perked up and greeted the cat nose to nose with his tail wagging. As sick as he is, he still has that sweet personality. This is a dog that had such a rough start in life, severely abused but still able and willing to love and trust. How could anyone not be moved by such pure goodness.

While it broke my heart to leave him there, he is where he needs to be for now.
What is so frustrating for us, is that we are totally broke. Those daily trips to the radiation center wiped our meager resources right out. We had just enough cash to fill our gas tank today to return home. That’s it. Our social security checks will not hit our bank account until later this week, and like most months, those funds are already earmarked for our normal monthly bills. I simply do not have the funds to pay for this.
The thought of loosing my companion is overwhelming to me. He has brought joy into so many painful days with his unconditional love and his clownish personality. He is not just a family member, he is my heart. Other than my husband, he is the one thing I can count on to be always be there. In a world of ongoing uncertainty, I cannot put a price on that steadfastness. It is everything.
I am too mentally and physically exhausted to set up a donation site for his care. Just typing this is draining and I know full well that I am rambling and possibly not explaining the situation well. I tend to over-explain when I am tired. I’m just doing the best I can under the circumstances. So I have combined my cancer fund to help with his vet expenses.

Any and all donations will help. I have no idea what the final cost will be, as his treatment plan might change at any moment. It all depends on how well his body responds to the antibiotics. Mojo is a fighter and he is in good health otherwise, but this is a very serious condition.

I haven’t allowed myself to think of the issues I still have to deal with in the future. My heart valve replacement will have to wait. So will the probable lung cancer. It just is what it is and my own care has been put on hold until we can get our sweet boy through this crisis.
I absolutely need him to be healthy before I can focus on anything else. I honestly cannot bear the thought of loosing him on top of everything else right now. That loss would be far too large. I feel lost without him with me. I keep thinking that it’s time to feed him or let him out but his bed is so empty.

Please hold him in good thoughts and thank you for each and every one of them. It means the world to me and I need that thread of hope in a big way.

*Our vet will accept donations for his care via phone. 989-846-9881 . You can find their info. at their website. Arenac Bay Veterinary

GoFundMe Fundraiser for Vet Care