Radiology Appointment

Imaginary moth tattoo, watercolor

tattooed with four dots

always wanted a moth tat

so a moth it is

I met with my radiologist at a local cancer center yesterday. The appointment was both long and painful, but my questions were answered and the radiologist had spent quite a bit of time going over my complicated health history before I arrived. He had as many questions as I did.

After our discussion, I had my treatment area mapped with ct scans and tats. I have received radiation therapy on my head in the past for ocular myositis, and had forgotten how very uncomfortable those radiation tables are. They’re very narrow and unforgiving. I have meniere’s disease, an inner ear issue which manifests in extremely uncomfortable vertigo when I move my head up/down or left/right. I feel as if I am falling and the room spins so badly that if I do not move my head slowly, I become nauseous to the point of vomiting. So laying down flat on any exam table is always something I dread. It’s downright awful. It took the techs and the radiologist over 20 minutes to get me in the right position on the table. I’ve broken 3 ribs in the past, during the time I was on high doses of prednisone which caused bone loss, and one of those breaks was a compound break. It has never completely healed and I have to be extremely careful when I reach over my head or that rib re-breaks. So securing my arms over my head was painful as hell. Toss in a trashed lower back and the procedure was intense enough that I had tears running down my face. I have a very high pain tolerance, but they were mostly tears of frustration. I always find myself apologizing to techs, assuring them that I’m not being difficult. I cannot help that I have these issues and certainly wish I did not. It would be much easier on all of us, but not much is easy in my world when it comes to medical procedures. They all take extra time and they are all painful. Thankfully the radiology staff were all very helpful and kind. That always takes a bit of the edge off.

I will be starting 5 weeks of daily radiation therapy later this month. 25 sessions. I’m hoping for a few sunny days to get out and do a bit of hiking with our companion before I’m committed to those daily painful table sessions. I know from the past, they will take a large toll on my energy level. But all physical pain and emotional frustration aside, I feel a sense of accomplishment that I am finally going to be actively fighting the cancer that still remains in my body. I have been waiting for a very long time to get started.

In my mind, the moth I have envisioned tattooed on my chest will help carry those toxic cells far away, where they can do no more harm.

Peace.

*I have a GoFundMe account to help us afford transportation for so very many medical appointments and a mountain of medical bills. Any and all donations are appreciated as well as your good thoughts. My heartfelt gratitude to those who have made this a bit less difficult.
GoFundMe For Cancer Treatment